Again- an Eleanor and Park fanfiction
by collaborate.fmc
Summary: It has been a year since Eleanor and Park were separated, and everything has changed. Will they find a way back to each other? Or were they meant to be separated?
1. Chapter 1

park

Music was the only time that it didn't hurt.

The instruments clashing with the lyrics filled Park's chest with warmth, melting away the ice cube that seemed to have lodged in his chest ever since…

Ever since her.

Eleanor.

Park practically _itched_ for her. His heart ached. His nose wanted desperately to smell something, anything like vanilla.

And that postcard… the one that Eleanor had sent him. It was still tucked carefully under his socks in his drawer.

 _It is over._

The three words that still haunted Park's mind, thrumming in his head during every waking hour, every minute.

 _What is over?_ He thought through the music. _What is over, Eleanor?_

eleanor

Music was the only time that it hurt.

The instruments, the sound in her ears… it all brought her back to the same place.

To Park.

She didn't want to, no, _couldn't_ think about Park. It hurt too much. It was a solid axe, lodged in her heart.

She was determined to forget.

 _First love never lasts,_ she reminded herself. Everywhere, she said that to herself. While she was asking Maisie to pass the peas. While she struggled through the school day. While she sat by herself, in the back of the bus, her side cold without Park sitting next to her.

 _It is over._ That was what she had told Park. Because it was. Because it was over. They both had to forget, and it wouldn't hurt anymore. It wouldn't feel like her life was being stretched taut, tight.

Eleanor looked out the screen of her window. The lukewarm spring air tossed strands of her hair out of its neat bun.

She was wearing a crisply pressed shirt and jeans.

No weird stuff on her wrists.

Nothing about the past.

Nothing about the old me, she thought. That's over.

It's all over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Eleanor**

"Do you want to go for ice cream after dinner?"

Ben asked the question around a mouthful of string green beans- Eleanor looked up from where she had been pushing her meat loaf halfheartedly around her plate.

She was still shocked whenever she looked at Ben. He looked so different than he had last year- his strawberry-blond hair was cut neatly, and he was wearing non-rumpled, clean, squarely pressed clothes. Even she looked different, for God's sake, and she thought that she would never look different.

Well, that was all over.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Eleanor's mother chided him. Her hair was pulled back in a smooth ponytail, and she was wearing soft, old jeans and a faded grey T-shirt. Her eyes looked alive. So much brighter than last year.

It was almost karma. Eleanor had been the alive one during the time that she was with Park, and her mother had been dead. Now, she had switched places with her mom. It was she with the bright eyes and the laughing face. It was Eleanor who plodded around the house in her new, crisply ironed clothes and her neatly wrangled back, neatly cut hair.

 _Don't think about that._

It was the roll call of words that thundered through her head every time her brain even dared to say the name "Park."

 _First love never lasts. You know that, Eleanor. You know that, so why do you keep thinking about it? It's in the past and it's gone. It's over._

 _It's all over._

"Eleanor?"

Eleanor jerked her head up- her uncle gestured politely to Ben.

"Oh. Um. I don't really feel up to it..." Eleanor's voice trailed off. Ben's face dropped slightly, and Eleanor hastened to soften the blow. "You can take my bike and go with Maisie and Mouse if you want."

Ben's face brightened. "Okay. Thanks." He said it around another mouthful of green beans- Eleanor's mother sighed slightly, but didn't object.

Eleanor looked down at her plate, with meatloaf and mashed potatoes and green beans. Her appetite had vanished. It always did when she thought about... him.

About Park.

 _First love never lasts._

 _It's all over._

Eleanor's stomach churned and she pushed her chair away from the table, standing up. "I'm going to go do homework."

Eleanor's mother looked disappointed. "What about dessert?"

"Nah. Not hungry." Eleanor tried for a convincing smile. "I have a lot of work to do... Mr. Johnson gave out a ton." She hurried up the stairs before her mother could object, shutting the door behind her.

Out of all the places in the house, Eleanor's least favorite was her room, which sucked. It reminded her too much of the Old Days. All of her weird wrist thingies and shirts, stuffed in the back of her dresser. A crumpled comic book, slid under her bed, among the dust bunnies. And, of course, all of the letters from Park, shoved underneath her socks in her sock drawer.

She had wanted so desperately to burn them. To burn her last connection to the Old Eleanor, the Old Days.

But she couldn't. She just couldn't bring herself to do that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Park**

"Park!"

The call was from down the hallway, shouted with a Korean accent.

Park's mom.

He could hear her heels, clicking on the wood. "PAAAAAARK!" she called. "Cat's here!"

 _Cat._ Park groaned softly to himself and dragged himself out of his chair, turning off the music. The hollowness came back, and he tried to force it away.

The one good thing about Cat was that she was the exact opposite of Eleanor.

The exact opposite of what he wanted to see.

He quickly ran a brush through his dark hair and skittered down the stairs. Cat was waiting at the door- she smiled shyly at him. She was wearing a dark blue sundress, which matched the shade of her eyes.

Eleanor would never wear stuff that matched her eyes.

Eleanor would never wear a sundress.

Park's mom smiled at them. "Go have good date." She smiled appreciatively at Cat, because Park's mom liked Cat. Cat made eye contact. She smiled nicely, with all of her straight, white teeth. She made small talk.

Everything that Eleanor didn't do.

Park grabbed his dark sports jacket and took Cat's hand.

It felt like plastic.


	4. Chapter 4

**Park**

Cat wanted to see a movie.

Eleanor would've wanted to see a concert.

A lump rose in Park's throat and he swallowed, looking over at Cat, sitting in the seat next to him. Her eyes were as lifeless as Altoid mints.

 _Eleanor. Eleanor._

 _It is over._

Park leaned over and kissed Cat- he felt her gasp of surprise against his lips.

Nothing like Eleanor.

Park squeezed his eyes shut and wound his fingers into Cat's hair, drowning the thoughts of Eleanor, of love, until they were gone.


End file.
